i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
