Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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