Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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