adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
