i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Randomize
