pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
