I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
