she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
oh god the rape fog is back!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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