im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
