I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Let the clothes fall where they may.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
