What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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