Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
