My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize