And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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