Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
