Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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