I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
