Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
