it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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