life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
