We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
