Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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