it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
