Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
