I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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