im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
