have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
