PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
