you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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