In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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