stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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