kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
