Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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