Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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