You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
