Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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