Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Randomize
