i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
