You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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