I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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