You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I said "one day" and that day is not today
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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