Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
