I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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