i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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