You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
