i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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