Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
