thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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