so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
