while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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