did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
