well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
