Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
