She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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