Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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