Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
