This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My vagina just recognized that song.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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