I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
