omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
