my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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