tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize