One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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