Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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