My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
