It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
