Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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