After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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