Dual....:-)
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Randomize
