There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize