Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
